EMOTIONS DO NOT PAY

Our emotions are what will be keeping us going up and down. Therefore, we as believers must not allow them to be our guiding force.

Our emotions will keep us acting and behaving opposite of the beautiful, loving and caring creatures God has designed us to be.

One minute we be, smiling, laughing, and jumping for joy, than we will starting to angry, full of anxiety, self doubt and full og unbelief.

Our emotions are the reasons, well at least for me, that put me such a disadvantage, when it came to dealing with other people.

I was so sick in my emotions, for not knowing who I was, to the point of, just ignoring my needs and wants, and just started taking care of.everybody else's needs and.wants, for I felt like I didn't matter.


This unhealthy behaviour turned me into a self hating myself machine, and at the same trying to love everything around me, hoping that it would love me back and.also validate or define me.

Not knowing at the time but I was only setting myself up for more human failure and disappointment

I was letting anybody use me, no matter who it was, I just didnt feel care enough about myself or I just didn'tknow better.  Therefore,  I quickly ran into alcohol, than drugs, people pleasing people  or just being the yes person,  or the easy mark, for anyone ..Just ask Tracy she will do it." Don't even ask her., she doesn't any respect .

I was emotionally sick, and emotionally drained I didn't know if I was coming or going.  I was just everybody's puppet on a string. It was just the Grace of God that I did not lose my mind.  With all the mental illiness in my family, I am truly grateful, to God'sgrace. Thank you Jesus.

So I blamed everybody for my life, being all messed up. My parents, my siblings, all my different jobs, my lavk of education. , I was going from job to job, apartment to another apartment; homelessness to another homelessness. Just a spinning out of control tornado


Until my Nephew, gave me a book and the moment I started reading that book, all I saw was me. I cried and I cried some more.  It's nothing worse than seeing that you have been operating like a sick person.

It was as if

 I had written this book myself. How could this person know my life?   There were a few things that I wasn't relating to  but most of it was me. I couldn't put this book down. I now some what are feeling a little normal, for I am not alone.

what I was learning  is that everything starts with us. Well not us, per say. Everything starts in our home environments, growing up as a child, around our parents, and our siblings, and family members, cousins, Uncles, Aunties, Grandpa and Grandma.


So my emotions were lost at sea before I could barelystarted walking and talking.  But thank God for his Son, Jesus Christ, for through it all I was never alone,  for he was with me always.

What I can remember from my childhood was very dysfunctional. I don't ever remember my parents, talking or relating to one another, in a healthy way any way.

My mother was an alcoholic, that was in and out of mental institutions and boarding care type of homes, and my Oldest brother when my mother was home, he would force himself on hetr in a sexual way.

On the other hand my dad was a great provider, he at least saw to us having shelter and food on the table. But he messed with different women, therefore,  we as Children were moving around alot. But I have no regrets of how I grew up, for I am here now, wanting and trying to help others to become free, throug my life, for we must start letting go of things that are wanting to keep us sick in our emotions. When Jesus saved us, he set us free from all of it.


Therefore,  let us start  loving ourselves enough, to really start looking at ourselves and being really honest, about what we are wanting and believing to change.

We are wonderfully and beautifully made, and Our heavenly Father has a great plan for our lives, and he really does want us to Be Blessed Saints.